School.

I got a C for chemistry, art and english.
My mother is not happy.
For the past two weeks I've been getting intense abuse. From mother and father. Also, mother chooses to embarrass me in front of family and friends, because of my grades.
I get told I'm useless. I'm lazy. I'm worthless. I'm a waste. I'll never amount to anything .
All of that would be fine if I didn't give a shit.
But I do. These are my first senior exams; first I've ever done. I was so scared, and then the results came and I have to deal with this.
Every day.
And for a lot of days to come.
I can't cope with it. I can't deal with it. I can't.
It's killing me.

I've been hospitalized before for stress, anxiety and depression. I don't want to be again.
But I lose control.
And every day, my grip weakens.

I need her. She gets me through it all. She Is what calms me down. What makes me happy. What makes everything okay. But she can't be here. And she doesn't have her phone. Fuck.
Fuck.